When you relocate to the middle-of-nowhere, you walk your dog where trees with eyes grow and visit rainbow rocks, whereas the front (!) page of your local newspaper states the most shocking news of the day in big, bold letters, "CHERRY CROP NOT HARMED."

Phew, thank God! ;)

It's quaint, and it is charming, but sometimes I do miss the ability to check out an art exhibition or go to the opera.